I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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