we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
