I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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