After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
