Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
