I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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