You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
