Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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