thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
