oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize