I think I died a long time ago.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
