Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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