I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
