So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
