I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize