OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
