Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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