meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
