he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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