Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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