4 words: hood of his car
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
