oh god the rape fog is back!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
birth control should be required to get into college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
