Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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