He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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