either way he was missing a nipple.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
