She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize