I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
