Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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