He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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