I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
