it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
