No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
