we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
