Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
