Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
