Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
