Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize