I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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