We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
