My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
