ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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