I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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