According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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