I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
