I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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