But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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