Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
