He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
