You work out of a Hotel?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
