Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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