No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm both gender and math confused
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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