so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
