YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
