You're my little dorito
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
