I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
