My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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