She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Terrible idea I love it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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