Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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