I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone š
Iām not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless itās rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
she referred to her cum as āpussy butterā so needless to say we had a good night
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